As I’ve said before, last year taught me a lot of lessons and even changed my relationships. My marriage has been no exception. Spending the majority of time at home with my family allowed me to be a more involved/hands-on parent. On the flip-side, it is easy for my young children, ages 6, 4, and 18 months, to get my focus rather than my husband, Jason – pandemic or otherwise. That has its place of course (they most definitely need their mother) but I can get distracted by them when I’m having a conversation with Jason – or trying to since the kids are loud 🙃.
I haven’t spent as much time sharing/bragging about my husband on social media but that doesn’t mean I’m not as dedicated, committed, or in love with him. If anything our union has become stronger as we rely on each other more throughout the pandemic than ever before. Not only is he my parenting partner but I wouldn’t have gotten to where I am in this moment or beyond without his unyielding love and support.
For the duration of the pandemic, I’m with my children 24/7 with minimal breaks for us to be together. In the past, I’ve written a few blog posts about how much I love going on dates with my husband. It’s one of my FAVORITE things. We have never been the type of couple to put our children before our relationship. And to be honest, I don’t feel that guilty leaving them. (At least I didn’t pre-pandemic.) Time will tell in the future. We both understand that our marriage, and faith, are the foundation of our family and everything else is built on top of that.
That being said, with our lack of dates in 2020, we’ve had to be creative in how we stay connected. Although we are not #marriagegoals, I can say that I am happily committed to my husband and ENJOY being married to him. I always say that I love being married to MY husband and wouldn’t want to be married to anyone else. He is my forever valentine.
Speaking of valentines, we aren’t big on the holiday. More than anything, we use it as an excuse to go on a date (and I do like presents) but it’s not the end all be all for us. Our strong connection has been forged in us spending time together in our everyday lives. I did an Instagram poll and asked if you all celebrated Valentine’s Day and a little over half said you do.
Today, I’m sharing some of the specific things that I started doing over the pandemic and will continue to do long after it’s over that have helped solidify our bond.
One day Jason looked at me and said, “We haven’t kissed in two days.” 😬 I was still nursing an infant at the time and dealing with sleep deprivation so I can’t say that kissing was terribly high on my list of priorities. However, kissing and intimacy are important. Those are definitive things that cause us to have a romantic relationship instead of just being roommates who parent together. Since then we have gotten in the habit of kissing every day – multiple times a day. It has helped us deepen our bond.
Set-aside time together
Earlier this month, I shared that one of my goals is to continue to grow my blog. I’ve become more intentional in setting aside several nights a week to write. It’s allowing me to become more disciplined instead of writing whenever I feel like it. That being said, I haven’t had as much free time after the kids go to bed. My husband and I decided that we would set aside a couple of nights a week to hang out. This has helped us to maintain build on our friendship and enjoy our time with one another.
Get involved in each other’s interests
Let me preface this by saying that Jason is great at this. He is so good at doing what I want to do. 😂 This man has willingly watched The Bachelor or some episode of Bridgerton. Watching chick stuff is so much more fun with him. He has hilarious commentary. There are things that we both like to do of course i.e. watch The Mandalorian or play board games. However, I’ve had to push myself out of my comfort zone to do other things that he enjoys. I try to play videogames and watch Sci-Fi movies. We’re also trying to get better at just choosing a movie to watch since we can spend a good 30 minutes watching previews. 🙃
Put Your Phone Down
This one I am definitely still learning. It was a bit easier when I took a break from social media but now that I’m back my attention can be a little split. I get distracted by those notifications. I try (and forget) to put my phone across the room and use it sparingly when we’re having an at-home date night but it still gets me. If anyone has any tips on how to not pay attention to their phone while with their spouse, I’ll take them. 😂
Sufficient to say, I love my husband. He will always be my first love and the man of my dreams. I’m so glad that we are committed to each other and having not only longevity but happiness in our marriage. And whether or not you celebrate, Happy Valentine’s Day. ❤️