The Necessity of Date Nights & Me Time for Moms

April 14, 2016
Romantic Candlelight

A few months back a friend of mine posted on Facebook that she hates being away from her child or to go out to do things without them. She said that she would rather just stay home than go out whether it’s on dates with her spouse or for time for herself. Several women agreed with her. I rolled my eyes hard, held my tongue (or my fingers because it’s Facebook) and scrolled on by. I’m never one to post opposing views on Facebook because it usually turns into petty drama that’s not worth it. However, if I do not agree with you I am more than happy to tell you to your face or write an article in rebuttal.

Obviously, this is still brewing in me because I’ve thought about it from time to time with the same reaction. An eye roll or a head shake and move on. I have talked to this friend in person about this and they are a home body through and through. They enjoy staying home and don’t really like to go out. The thought of leaving their child causes anxiety. I do not have this problem. I enjoying being a stay at home mom; however, I am probably the furthest thing from it at times because to find me at home all day is a rarity.

I love spending quality time with my son and exploring the world with him. Whether it’s the library, museum, grocery story, walk in the park etc. My mother was of the same mindset. She stayed “home” with me but we were always out and about in the great city of Chicago exploring different things and I loved it. Obviously, there is a time to stay home but I do my best to get my pregnant self out of our 1100 square foot house because it helps my sanity. Not that I don’t like our home but I like people more, and get energy from being around them rather than being home all day.

That being said, date nights and “me” time give me life! It is one of the most exhilarating things that gives me a boost. If I go without these things for too long, I start to feel a lull and drag in myself like I’m going through the motions.

For my husband and I, two weeks is the maximum amount of time between date nights outside the house. We have been richly blessed by friends and family who are willing to watch our son and we relish in the time away from him. Not that we don’t love our little guy, we adore him but there’s just something refreshing about solely focusing on each other and not having to cut someone’s food or make sure we have milk on hand during dinner. Dare I say it’s nice to be an adult for a few hours minus the parental part.

The length of time in between dates is not a hard fast rule but what works for my husband and I in our marriage. If you haven’t already, talk with your spouse about spending that one on one time together without kids – DO IT. It doesn’t have to be going out of the house if you are unable but taking the time to reconnect as married people is vital!

As far as myself, I also enjoy time alone. Whether that be taking a bath, getting a pedicure, getting my hair done or walking around Target all by myself. These things are rejuvenating to me.

I have heard time and time again from many mothers that have gone before me that date nights and me time are essential. And it’s true! Burning the candle of super mom and wife will drain you. Take some time for yourself – even if it’s a stroller-less walk or a bath after your kiddo goes to bed. You’ll be better for it!

What do you regularly do for me time or date nights with your spouse? I’m always looking for new ideas (especially ones on the cheap). Comment below!