I hear this phrase at least a few times a week. This past weekend, I was leaving a sale at a clothing boutique with my children. (Surprise! I like clothes. 😊🛍️) I was getting into my minivan with both children in tow. My 3 year old started wandering toward another car that had just pulled into to the parking space next to me. As I grabbed his hand, the driver got out and asked me if the store was a children’s boutique because I had my kids with me. I told her it wasn’t. Then she said it. “Looks like you’ve got your hands full.”
I never understand why people say this to me. Is it meant to be encouraging? I don’t feel that it is. Is it supposed to make me feel good? It never does. Do they want me to complain? I don’t – at least not in our brief conversation. I responded with my go to reply. “I do but I enjoy them.” Similar to the usual, “I do but it’s worth it”.
She then offered to help me get my children into the car, which I declined. Since having two kids, I’ve learned that it’s okay to accept help. I’m outnumbered – without my husband – and extra hands are often appreciated. However, I won’t accept it if I feel like it’s out of pity or has a condescending vibe. This woman had the later.
And hear my heart, I don’t think that having 2 kids is the hardest thing ever. I know many moms with 3. A few with 4. One that has 4 with a set of twins in the mix and just the other day, I met a mother of 6. I can only speak about my mothering experience of 2 children that are currently 3 years and under.
On the rare occasion that I go to Target or Aldi alone, I sometimes will offer to pull out the cart for the busy mom alone with multiple kids. I know what it’s like to need an extra hand and try to extend help in the nicest, least judgmental way that I can.
Every little bit helps as a mom of littles who is sometimes just trying to make it through the day. Word to the wise. The next time you see a busy mom in the thick of it, give her a kind word or better yet a smile. She’ll probably appreciate it. But don’t touch her baby if you’re a stranger. No matter how cute that baby is. She doesn’t appreciate that. It crosses a line. 😆
Hebrews 10:24 – Let us think of ways to motivate one another in acts of love and good works.